Today’s edition of Get the F*** Out of the Way delivers five more real-life facepalms, featuring hydrant blockers, shoulder racers, and ring-light influencers who treat emergency scenes like content farms. It’s part PSA, part purge — and 100% certified dumbassery.
🚒 ACT I: Parked in Front of a Fire Hydrant During a Fire
Diagnosis:
Imagine being so special you think fire codes don’t apply to your Audi. Now imagine firefighters smashing your windows, threading a hose through your leather interior, and saving the building anyway. That’s exactly what happened.
There was an actual fire. Flames. Smoke. Urgency. And this genius parked in front of the hydrant like it was a VIP spot at Whole Foods. When the crew arrived, they didn’t knock. They didn’t tow. They went full jugular — glass-breaking, hose-snaking, Audi-defiling glory.
Recommended Treatment:
Court-mandated viewing of the Reddit thread where this photo went viral. And maybe a commemorative plaque: “Here Lies Common Sense. Blocked by a Sedan.”
The Moral:
If you block a hydrant, you don’t just lose your windows — you lose the argument forever.
ACT II: The Emergency Lane Is Not the Express Lane
Diagnosis:
Dude uses the shoulder to bypass traffic... and ends up blocking the paramedics trying to save someone having a stroke.
Sir. The shoulder is for emergency vehicles. It is not your personal HOV lane. But this dude? He zipped past bumper-to-bumper traffic like the rules didn’t apply to his Altima. Unfortunately for him (and everyone else), an ambulance was coming up the lane he commandeered like it was Mario Kart.
Recommended Treatment:
Dashcam playback looped over the PA system in court. Possibly a side hustle as a traffic cone.
The Moral:
If you’re racing an ambulance on the shoulder, hope your ego fits in a body bag.
ACT III: Using a Fire Truck as Shade While Changing a Tire
Diagnosis:
It’s a hot day. He gets a flat. Sees a parked fire truck. And decides the best move is to back his car up behind it and change his tire… in its shadow.
The crew returns to find him crouched behind their rig, muttering something about “temporary shade.” They nearly ran him over in reverse. Honestly? Missed opportunity.
Recommended Treatment:
Ban from parking within 30 feet of anything red or with flashing lights. Also: umbrella. They're like portable shade that doesn't risk accidental pancaking.
The Moral:
You don’t use a fire truck as a beach umbrella. You use it as a reason to GTFO the area.
ACT IV: Sir, This Is a Crime Scene — Not a Shortcut
Diagnosis:
Guy drives around yellow tape and police cruisers to "cut through" a blocked intersection. Claims he was late for CrossFit. Yes, really.
Officers pulled him out mid-roll and asked, “What part of DO NOT CROSS do you not understand?” Apparently... all of it.
Recommended Treatment:
Community service scrubbing chalk outlines off the pavement. And possibly a mandatory viewing of every CSI show ever made until he grasps what “crime scene” means.
The Moral:
If there’s chalk on the pavement and cops holding clipboards, turn the hell around.
ACT V: Backing Into a Fire Scene to Film for TikTok
Diagnosis:
She wanted content. Parked just close enough to get the flames in frame — and just far enough to block a fire hose. Fire captain asked her to leave. She said, “Can I just finish this clip real quick?”
He said nothing. He just turned the hose on low and ruined her ring light.
Recommended Treatment:
Shadowban in real life. And maybe a TikTok challenge called “Don’t be a Menace Near Firefighters.”
The Moral:
If your influencer career hinges on interfering with first responders, maybe try baking videos instead.
Liked this dumbass? Here are 3 more:
Get the F*** Out of the Way: Volume I |
DDD Home |
Restaurant Ridiculousness: The Appetizer
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