October 28: The Drive-Thru Office hero - One car, fifteen orders, zero shame. #AsshatOfTheDay
Asshat of the Day: The Drive-Thru Office Hero
Published: October 28, 2025
#DriveThruFails #OfficeLife #FastFoodFury #AsshatOfTheDay #LunchRushLogic #ObservationalHumor
It’s 12:15 PM. You’re starving but optimistic — there’s only one car ahead of you in the drive-thru. Lunch salvation is near.
Or so you thought.
The car doesn’t move. The line doesn’t budge. You check your phone, glance at the menu, look back — nothing. What’s the holdup?
Then you hear it. The voice over the speaker is loud. Too loud. And way too... organized.
“Okay, first order is for Sharon — grilled chicken wrap, no wrap, just the chicken in a box.”
Beep.
“Second order’s Jason — double burger, no cheese, extra bacon, but he’s lactose intolerant so scratch that cheese, thanks.”
You’re now listening to a grown adult recite a spreadsheet of lunch orders into a drive-thru speaker like he’s dictating launch codes to mission control.
You’ve found him: the Drive-Thru Office Hero.
This overachiever has decided that the best way to feed his entire department is one order at a time. From his car. At peak lunch hour.
Ten meals. Ten bags. Ten separate receipts.
Each one lovingly recited, customized, and — wait for it — paid for individually.
One with a corporate card. One with cash. One with a Starbucks gift card. One with Venmo. At one point, he holds his phone up to the speaker to read a coworker’s order off Slack.
You glance in your mirror. The line now wraps around the building. A guy behind you is gripping his steering wheel like he’s in a hostage situation. Someone’s kid is crying. You kind of want to join them.
Meanwhile, this guy is chilling. Smiling. Proud of himself for “saving the team time.”
No, dude. You just shifted your entire department’s lunchtime burden onto a 17-year-old working the window and everyone else in line who just wanted a cheeseburger and silence.
Public Service Announcement
If your lunch order involves more than three coworkers and multiple payment methods — you don’t belong in the drive-thru. You belong inside. Preferably with a clipboard and a deep sense of shame.
🖼️ Firefly Image Prompt
“Cartoon of a chaotic fast food drive-thru with one car at the window, surrounded by labeled food bags, driver holding multiple receipts, long angry line behind him.”
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